it’s Sunday again. Lucky me living in Bavaria we have another day off tomorrow. I love all these catholic holidays which give us the opportunity to sleep a little. Later today we’re attending an indoor soccer cup. I haven’t been to one for quite a while and I am a tad nervous about that fact. Plus the host team had some withdrawals so we agreed to send in two teams. Usually you have two groups playing and then you have the finals. Due to the withdrawals they changed the schedule and decided to make it a round robin instead. So we’ll have to face our team mates for sure. None of us likes that. But in the end it’s only like practice.
And of course as it’s Sunday I am linking up with Arman‘s Spill it Sunday blog party!
This week again he covers a very interesting theme. Childhood dreams. I really had to sit down and think a little about my childhood dreams and where they had led to. Did I fulfill any of them? Where they even fulfillable? I reckon being a ballerina would have been out of question anyway 😉 And I was a tad weird as a kid (let’s face it I still am) so I actually never dreamed of being a ballerina. Okay let’s step on the gloomy path of long-buried desires….
-> What did you want to be when you were younger (career wise)?
As long as I can think I always passionately wanted to be an archeologist. I had equipment! I had several hammers, brushes and scrubbers and even a wide choice of chisels (NERD ALERT!!!). I read everything how Heinrich Schliemann discovered Troja and Howard Carter found Tutanchamun. Around the age of 10 I even tried to teach myself how to read runes and hieroglyphs (I was shattered when I realized that I wouldn’t understand anything even if I could read them) I always had a good fantasy and I dreamed about finding something major. Preferably Atlantis 😉
I always wanted to be a writer. And being a blogger, scribbling constantly into several journals, writing scientific papers and the occasional short story (though only for myself) I consider myself to be one. I also have ideas for two novels but it’s simply not the moment to sit down and try myself as a novelist. I will have the guts to do it at some point. I am sure about that!
-> What dreams did you have when you were younger?
I never really fit in anywhere. Many people say this but I thought for the most part of my life that there was a new exciting and amazing life waiting for me somewhere just around the next corner. As a Disney-inspired child I dreamt of being left in a boring (but safe) world by my real family – magicians, royals whatever – and that I only had to wait long enough that the secret of my existence would be revealed. And then I would live the happy magical life (in a different world) that was ment to be mine. That’s pretty close to visiting Disneyland, is it?
When I grew older I realized that something must have been gone wrong and my magical roots would remain buried deep and that I had to adapt myself to my now permanent life. I started to make new plans. I always loved history and foreign exciting places and I hammered out a long long list of places I want to visit when I was old and solvent enough. There’s still many many places I haven’t visited so far but I will certainly try to cross out everything. I still have that very list from ca 1997!
-> Are you in the same career path as what you wanted?
No absolutely not! When I graduated highschool I made myself familiar with all the university requirements and I realized that even if I ignored that fact that archeologists are unemployed or work in a different career path after their graduation I still had to study Latin and ancient Greek in order to complete a degree in classical archaeology. So this dream petered out! I never regretted that decision. It’s still kind of a hobby.
I enrolled at university with a major in Adult Education and Learning Sciences and a minor in Social Psychology and German Literature. I was a really good student and never questioned that decision. I wanted a good job and did everything to achieve that goal! Every semester I would complete additional classes and certificates in business and HR management. I worked part-time at a leading insurance agency in the HR Talent Management Department. I still think it’s an important thing to do but I always questioned the practices in such big companies regarding their talents. It all seemed so random to me. I liked my job but never asked myself whether I wanted to do that for a living. 3 month before I graduated university I was really really close to quitting. I had a huge crisis and was really depressed. In the end giving up felt like the fail of my life. It was simply not an option so I pushed through. I had an internship in London already lined up and I literally flee the country after graduation. London was the time of my life and I was happy though my internship was totally uninteresting work-wise.
When I came back home I tried to find a job in the only field I ever knew and still seemed totally desirable to me: Human Resources Development. The times where tough the financial crisis still noticeable and after several month I got a great offer at a large bank in HR. It was HR Marketing and Recruiting but I considered it a good starting point. I felt that I had to be thankful for the opportunity and I liked my team. But I never felt that miserable in all my life! I hated the tasks and I couldn’t understand why nobody ever questioned a decision though everybody knew it was a waste of money and time. Being unhappy with my work and my work results (I am always crap at the things I don’t like) I slowly started to be unhappy with my whole life. I needed a physical breakdown and a few weeks of recovery away from the job, followed by an inconsiderate and iniquitously comment of my boss to mentally resign. At that time I was so sick that I needed help with taking a shower (TMI?) and he was impertinent enough to question my commitment to the job.
This time I promised myself not to rush in the next disaster. It took me 9 more month in the job I hated and then I finally found what I wanted to do and what I am good at. I work at a university coordinating a mentoring program for female scientists and I am currently researching in the area of career decisions in order to become a PhD. It took me two years after graduation and I can’t be happier with the decision to quit a job that might have been a good one – but simply not for me!
-> Have you achieved any of your childhood dreams?
As I was never properly educated in magic I had to give up on that dream but I travelled some destinations I wanted to see and I am still following my list. I too haven’t discovered Atlantis yet but a girl can dream…
-> Will you try to make any of those dreams realities?
When the time comes I would love to write something longer than a five-page short story. I am still young and I will have time to do this later in my life. I will probably save such a project for my forties when I (hopefully) have to say a little bit more about life. I love the idea af me being wise someday 😉 And I think I might have more time when I have finally finished that dissertation!
Phew this was a long, verbose post. I hope I haven’t lost too many of you… Thinking about those dreams I had and what had happened with them I am really amazed how much it says about my personality. No I’m really looking forward to discover your dreams!
What dreams did you have when you were young and did you achieve them?
Don’t forget to head over to Arman and check out all the other’s bloggers dreams. It’s never too late to tackle those buried desires!
Here’s the selfie… I almost forgot 😉