Heya party people! It’s been a really long time since I’ve been checking in here. I never meant to just disappear. But it happened. One week turned into two and then another. And within the blink of an eye, it’s been over two months. I have no immediate plans to stop blogging but at the same time, I feel like I have not much to say either. I’ll talk a little about that later in this post. But I just couldn’t show up here.
Speaking of I don’t really know what to say… even though I have the tendency to be over-dramatic from time to time I just feel like whatever I say and no matter how much I share I will not be able to draw the right picture. So I don’t even bother trying.
But at the same time, I think it would be wrong to pretend that things are rainbows and butterflies. Yet, things are not super bad either. Just so much: The truth is that I have not been okay. I have not been okay for a while and I am still not. But I am going to be.
Look, this already sounds dramatic when it is really not. Things have just not been going great for me and I have felt sad, anti-social and mopey. Let’s leave it there.
So back to business after this long-ass vague and probably uninteresting intro. Some catching up is due.
I started a new job two weeks ago. It’s a 6-month teaching gig at the University (the one where I studied not the one where I used to work before). It’s kinda really weird to work here now but so far I enjoy it. Truth be told, it’s not my dream job. But in lack of any idea what I want to do professionally and because they offered it to me without me even applying, I grabbed the chance to make some money and buy myself a bit more time to figure things out. Now I just have to get my expensive habit of drinking one or two Starbucks coffees a day under control. It’s not good for me and my savings that I literally walk 5 min to the next watering hole!
Also even though I am doing something productive for the moment and don’t have this nagging feeling of wasting my life all the time, I still need to work on answering me some questions. My latest attempt to work with a professional (so not my idea this time) has turned into a downward spiral of losing motivation, hope and whatever was left of my sanity. I think it will be very very good for me to focus on a real task and not to be so self-centred for a while. Maybe a new experience will lead to more clarity. One can hope, right?
With the new circumstances, I have to figure out day to day life again. I need to rearrange everything. But I am relaxed and not at all stressed out about it. Besides having to commute by train again. That sucks. I miss my quiet car rides already. But the after work options make up for it by far!
On to more private topics. One thing that has become very clear in the course of this year is that I don’t really enjoy sharing recipe posts anymore. I love food photography. After being bored with it for a little bit, I feel like I have found a new pleasure in arranging a dish prettily and then taking a ton of pictures and editing them. But testing and tweaking and then typing up an actual recipe and write a blog post around it doesn’t hold any interest for me anymore.
Due to that, I am focusing my creative endeavours on Instagram as it’s a visual platform and most people don’t really care about sharing a recipe with a picture that much. Maybe the desire to share recipes will come back at some point. But honestly, I doubt that. I don’t mind my lack of interest in this at all besides that this leaves me a little bit topic-less. I guess I have to figure out what I want to write about. Because I do miss writing.
Next to taking food pictures, I have spent a lot of time shooting with people. But it’s frustrating to me and the learning curve is huge. I don’t mind that I have to learn a lot. It’s just way more difficult than capturing stills. But when I think back to the beginning of my photography endeavours, I guess I can clearly see the similarities. I just have to keep going and figure out stuff on the go.
Then I have also dipped my toe in the world of product photography. I am shooting books for a large publishing house here from time to time and I really enjoy it. It’s similar and different to the things I usually do and I enjoy creating a scene that invites people to grab a book and read. A little bit like you do with food, where the ultimate goal is to make people want to sit down and grab a bite with you.
And that’s pretty much it. It’s not been a super interesting but definitely a very eye-opening past few months. And now we have three more ahead of us this year. For the most part, there is curiosity and anticipation when I think of the next three months. My book is finally being released in November and I cannot stress enough how glad I am that this will be over in mere weeks. Working with my publisher has not been smooth sailing but we finally managed to get it into print now.
And then for the very end of the year, we have booked a mini get-away to Vienna. We spent NYE there once before and it was beautiful. I love Vienna and I am looking forward to going back again.
Things are good and I will be okay, too. Hopefully rather sooner than later. Baby steps.